Sunday, August 3, 2014

Do you pray?

The thought of writing occurrs at weirdest places you can imagine. Today it occurred to me while I was in a flight heading to Bangalore

I had quite an experience to visit the Golden temple at amristsar (U can just take the scene from jab we met of missing train, chasing it with a cab and minus the joy of reaching the destination) anyways, talking about the urge to visit a temple has always been high in my life. 

Reading Eat Pray Love, thorough out my journey I realized how I reach out to god! For the past 2 weeks it has been quite a few good ones. Praying hasn't been difficult for me, it's imbibed into me as a kid(All thanks to the Brahmin family which I was born in, where day begins with mantra and jap) I am a god loving person, nevertheless a god fearing one too 

I once as a kid asked my grandma (I was 6-8yrs old) why people break coconut outside temple and never pick them up! She said it's an offering when God delivers what you asked for & Voila! I had a way to bribe god. 

I started testing the method with every thing I wanted to ask god, from finding my pencil box, school holiday, good marks, 1st rank, name it and I offered the god a coconut. Oh I worked on signs too.. Visit temple, ask God If I am doing right in terms of my decisions, would demand that the flowers falls off yeh shoulder of the idol and yes I wanted it from the right side shoulder of the Idol. 

People may find it absurd but I still follow it. The entire trip to Amritsar, where I kept ensuring myself that I need to visit the temple come what May failed. The train delay, missing the train, the cab guy who drove the car at 30kms on a highway all were the signs that I should give up, I dint! I wanted to fight the destiny.. It turned into a battle I wouldn't want to lose. But then who wins against destiny? I could never visit the temple.. 12000 kms of travel in a day and all I did was savoured the food served in shatabdi!

Talk to a Brahmin lady(Read the ones who are born in 60s and 70s) they have an explanation for every action on course of life.. Yes including why human have sex! Talking about visiting temples, my grandma always informed us that it's the Divine power or the Superior who decides to call you to see him.. U can never plan a pilgrimage, u get a call to visit! Simple translation: Bulava aaya hai! 

As a kid I feared god, I went through phases where I did not have answers to the questions of my own, I ran to temple! Cry, shout, question god and at last ask for signs. The struggle of mind and heart never ends.. Not sure what meditations is all about but one day dad turned and said Meditate! Pray to Rahu! And yes I feared I started with the jap of 108times chanting Rahu. The day I meditate I tackle life with confidence. 

Different people have different way of taking life as it comes, I do with the help of my own ways of God's presence. As a kid (8yrs) I only prayed for him to stay with me! I actually repeated over and over again: Stay with me 

Grew up, and I realized he can't stay with me all the time and my prayer changed to , Hold me while I cross the phase of life, when I am making a decision then let go of my hand to walk on my own. 

Now, I only pray to let him give me Peace. Peace of mind is all I want. Realized troubles are the consequences of my decision, it's the peace I need after I make decisions. 

Amritsar taught me how HIS decision works. I am educated that doesn't mean I don't believe in the superior power. This trip just enlightened my belief of destiny. The inner battle I fought over these 28years of life took a makeover, fresh appearances of the past only to make me realize that you need to be grateful for the present. 

So how do you pray?