Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Mom at Home.. A Thankless Job

I always wondered and envied my Mom being a housewife. Everytime I returned from school, she would be there at home, running around the house with very silly To-Do list ranging from folding clothes to dispersing the vessels for wash.

There were weekends where all of us preferred sitting on a couch with Yummy snacks to be prepared by Mom and fighting with siblings for remote. Its during these days, she found time to complaint to us, she would insist we go out, order food and we greatly disappointed her saying its Sunday, a day to kick our shoes and relax with her Yummy food.

I wondered what made her sad? She had the entire day for herself, after we have left, she had her time to pamper herself, have a quick nap, gossip with neighbours. Instead she cribbed about being a Home-maker which I never understood.

Today I have donned the Role. Women get offended when you call them Housewife, they prefer to be called a Home Maker. It doesn’t matter to me. What matters is, I understand my Mom now better than ever.

While working, I never realized the need to run behind the maid, the minor heart aches when she bunked, the clothes which were due for a wash for more than a week, the tiresome thoughts on inventing dishes to make Home Cooked food interesting, the longing for a slight appreciation for the efforts you put in the kitchen to make the evening worthwhile. Now all these which sound silly enough to crib about is what my Agenda is.

I get up with a little prayer that maid doesn’t bunk, My whole day goes in planning what I need to cook the next meal. Relatives or friewnds bunking at our dwelling, my mind runs on Fast Track mode deciding the menu and checking the ingredients required. In-spite of this, times when you husband turns and ask 'What do you do the entire day?' You are dumbstruck. You cant point out the dusting you did on his computer table, cant notice the towels and napkins you change regularly, the effort of time spent in Kitchen, the time lost while counting the clothes and calculation for the Dhobi, because they all seem minute details which is not explained.

Every time I visit my Mom, I just go and hug her and I am thankful she was there when I got back home after a Bad at school/college. Thanking her that she ran to make Fresh Fruit juice when dad came home after tiring day, she never complained of LOP when she had to take care of us when we fell ill.

Not sure how many have thought about your Mom who has been at home whenever you turn around. If you havent, just pick up your phone, dial your Mom and say she did a great job at which she cant even be promoted, but deserves every appreciation that the Most Hardworking employee deserves. Being a Homemaker is a thankless job..Nothing can cheer it than the love which is given in return!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Life.. Always has a new beginning!

It looks like I took a break from everything along with career few months back and then when people started asking about your blog you realize you have missed writing and penning down your thoughts.

Its true when someone said, Maturity doesnt come with age, in that case I should have matured long back! These 7 months of pregnancy I have started seeing life ina different perspective, lets say boredom and being jobless have contributed to the process big time.

I have my friends who are married now, few discussing relationships, few throwing surprises with their relationships. The bottom line still remains how selfish each one of us are. Every stage we have view to put across which says 'I FEEL'.  Infact I have come across people who change opinions faster than chameleon!! Currently I can think of different people about whom I randomly ponder my thoughts over their actions and try justifying their actions rather than being judgemental.

I can recollect when one of my bestie asked, 'You sure you are ready for a kid?' and for a moment I dint know what preparedness it required? She answered it by giving me the budget of upbringing and schools which still gives me nightmares. What effected and stayed with me was the thought about being matured to take care of a kid. Well my mom was 17 when I was born, not that she even knew the Childbirth process and avoided toilet with the fear of baby falling out!! For that matter, I am still proud of the way she brought me up.

I personally believe, life is not all about planning a phase, its just living a part. Yesterday I played the role of a girl friend, today a wife tomorrow a Mother. None of them were planned. Each part has its pros and cons, being a woman, you always highlight the things or routines you have given up to play the part. But at a given point every woman proves she played her best!

Currently when you are all excited about being a Mother, the reality kicks in that its just not a new possession you can flaunt, or a new member with whom you hangout, instead a responsibility that will cling to you forever and will look upto you. Not that I can take a break from it nor divorce or return it! When reality hits it hits big, but I am sure eventually as every woman I will play the best of my part. Yes, I still believe motherhood is the part which I dreamt of when I was 13, I have looked after every cousin from their cerelac days to their homework days and cant wait to have a kid finally. Best part I dont have to return the kid to their parents room after I put it to sleep which I disliked the most while looking after other's babies. 100 Days to go for it and I cheer the fact every time my baby kicks and makes me feel its presence inside me :)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Men. . You cant live With or Without!

I have always been partial on writing my thoughts and my views on self and women, Men are an important concept too in Life.

I wont go on the version of Feminist and claim how women are better than Men, I feel its beyond that. Every men who walks into our life is always characterized in a relationship but the one who passes through each phase of being a Friend, Mentor, Adviser, Lover, Husband is the one who surpasses all, especially if he doesn't let go off his previous roles in life.

Thanks to the so called Modernization you get to make Male friends easily, No strings attached but just available at each other's convenience. Irrespective of how we claim to be independent, you will always find peace while you are next to the man you love, the rest of the world blends into the background. Men do not become important only when they are Lovers or Husbands, they gain the most prominent position as a Friend, but in the rush of responsibilities and commitments the essence is lost.

The advantage of having a Man as your best Friend, they can understand better when you break up, listen patiently as they dont understand women to advise them, and when busy they are blunt enough to give you a frank opinion and blame it on slip of tongue.They can never make you feel conscious about your weight, they dont give a damn themselves! They console all the time to say things will get better or instead give dumb enough examples to show how blessed you are instead of X Y Z and best of all they don't go through PMS There are several disadvantages where the misunderstandings creep in but you can always getaway saying  ''Its one of those days" and they wouldnt argue.

The best part when that friend is the one you love, you wouldnt need any more shoulders to cry on. No relationship comes with a Guarantee of eternity and you should never expect it to be. If all things were meant to stay permanently you wouldn't have enjoyed life anyways.

Men are always the counter part, hence they say they Complete you. Any man for that matter is possessive given any role of life, be it a Father, Brother, Lover, Husband or Friend. They always want to be protective irrespective of how Freedom loving they portray themselves to the world. You just cant live without them! The more you know them, the more you Love them!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Work - O - Holic

Its 2 a.m, and here I am blogging after ages Currently at Work Place working with team. . Never ever thought I would be sacrificing my Beauty Sleep just to meet the deadlines.

Work for me had always been 10-6 job for the last 3 years. Over the few months, I realized it can be more than that, it is more than just your salary being credited to your account on 1st of every month. I always referred to people as Workaholic when they never answered calls during office hours or did answer calls at work post 7 pm.

Yes, they always say, Love your Job, not the company, You never know when the company might stop loving you. Have never been able to follow the same, I fall in love with the company and the people in the company. For a change I have realized what Loving your job means. Its the feeling when you do not crib when
1) You have to reply to mails from 6 am to Mid Night
2) You can never take Ad Hoc leave
3) You never realize when the clock strikes 8 pm everyday while you sit and stare at system analyzing numbers
4)Your Monday dreams are dedicated to your Boss & deadlines
5) Your colleagues's CTC doesn't disturb you &
6) You still smile when someone asks you about your job irrespective of the above points.

Currently I am going through the above phase and happy to be in. Its a way out to know yourself better among worldly pleasures and gains. Its during these times when you indulge in what you love and be happy about introspection.

Its not always about the package, the position, the Grade, its just about loving what you do and being paid for the same!

Nope, In-spite of this I do not call myself Workaholic..I am just someone who still looks forward for the Drunk weekends, laughter with Family, Movie to gossip about on Fridays but also someone who do not complain about Monday blues!

What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Floating Thoughts...

There are many instances which we want to revisit in Life. We do that by recalling memories, the same instances brings smile, tears & a satisfaction over what you have lived.

In the journey of life, you make acquaintances, friendship, relationship, love, commitment & sacrifices, need not be in the same order though. But being an Arian, I always cherish the "Me" time, time with self. Introspection, just to ponder over thoughts which has been disturbing for a while.

I have always been termed as selfish, I accept it with arrogance. Aren't we all the same. We need right people at the right time. I call few when I am low, whom I might never call to share the greatest joy (For joy we just look to the person next to us because no one regrets being a part of it). I do the same.

On every yearly occasion, like New Year, Birthdays, Valentines Day, Anniversary I look back over the past and wonder how I have improved. Have I learnt the lesson of being dependent on people & project myself to be independent enough? Relationships are part of life, few wanted, few unwanted & few categorized under Destiny. For me, every relationship which doesn't exist anymore falls under Destiny & I prefer to move on.

The real & true feelings towards such acquaintances and relationship is weighed during "Me" time, you admit what you wanted & chased & learnt, which you will deny to the world. Ego, pride, status, society everything around influences your acceptance.

Recently experienced the concept of Slytweets..Tweets indirectly pointing at people, knowing the person will read it. Unfortunately have followed the same in real life, with gestures, actions, Fb status updates too. Name changes, the concept still remains the same. The feelings which you could blurt out directly but pride & ego ensures it is spoken through your status updates in social Media. The objective remains the same, you want the targeted person to know what you feel about them.

Irrespective of realizing that few things, people & relationship are not meant in your life, you still shed tears, wonder why it happened in the first place if it was never meant to be? Why know each other when you have to turn strangers? Why crave for 1 moment of joy and ignore the 100 reasons to smile? We all do this, because Life is about Human for us & Human cannot live without expectations, be it even expecting your dog to run to you when you reach home & if doesn't you cant stop wondering why? Signs, intuitions, gut feelings that Something are Right, some induce fear & fright.

Going through such numerous emotions everyday, every hour, we grow up, emotionally mature, learn to let go off certain things, people & relations which are not meant to be, embrace the moments which life throws at you.

"Mann yeh sahib ji, jaane hai sab ji, phir bhi banaye bahaane"

Friday, February 10, 2012

I, Me, Myself!

Thsi Blog is dedicated to self and desreves one as the Quarter Century ends! Down with 1 Tequilla, 2 Shooters & a Breezer..It cant get more Honest!

There are times, when you randomly introspect, wonder whats wrong with self or right & the judgements of others that ponders you with questions. I am writing this blog to be read when I turn 50.

Movie like Ek Main aur Ekk tu inspired me to introspect. Its been 25 years, I always wondered is if I am among others, am I unique? Or is it that we all live with such illusions. I have always been selfish, wanted things and discarded people at my convenience. Late realization, but every action has a self justified reason.

People still accuse me of being impulsive, Jhalli, pagal, irresponsible and kiddish. I always reply by asking 'Isnt it worth it?' I live life by the moment. Right now, I am just planning my wishlist before 35. Cant think beyond that!

From my childhood I always made decisions which seemed perfect, never thought of consequences, go with the flow, never regret. 1 thing which I have never tolerated is ignorance, be it being a rank student in school, Cultural lead in college, Competitive in placements. Always grabbed attention & fueled the energy. Believed in yash Raj love stories, demanded perfect filmy love story & got it too.

After all this, I sit back and realise I am still right in living for the moment. Decisions which are impulsive are fun & never disappoint you. Demand of being married at 23 to a guy aged 22, both unsure of the career which just began, now still stand strong!

I have been surrounded by people who plan their day, their dreams, their job, their income & some sex life too :). It does disturb how unorganised I am, where I am not even sure I will return home without resigning from job. Today I need career in one field, tomorrow I need freedom. Inspite of this I have people in my life who understands me perfectly & ensures they do not rationalise my irrational behaviour.

It doesnt mean I have lived a perfect life, I too have unfulfilled wishes, few which may or may never come true, on which I shed tears day & night. Curse who do not appreciate what they have. But next day I move on. Thanks god for all the rest he has given.

If I had to rate myself, I would have been the most irresponsible person in any relationship, but as they say or I have heard, you need someone in life who is not You, so that they only Complete You! I found him! I still pity his decision, nevertheless thankful to the stars who played the trick.

Every person grows with a dream, Of all the things during my High School Days I wanted to be a House Wife, later turned into Air Hostess (Fly in the air), then Choreographer(Dance that runs in my veins) ended up  being a struggler in Marketing. Love Job, no regrets but can never be serious!

Dreams are meant to be acquired, conquered and chased. I still do that today, only problem is I dream everyday.

Interaction with different people from different paths of life made me realize each one of us have a hidden character, which emerges only when we want to but exists within.But why pretend? Why not be true to self? Society, ego, pride, status & fear!

I do respect people who have touched my life in any manner, and I do get possessive about their existence but also matured enough to realize when to give up on them

Not sure if I will remain the same after 30 crisis! But do enjoy life as it throws Surprises at you!!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dilli Dilwalon ki!

Well..This post was long due...I always had heard and believed that Dilli walahs are arrogant and proud as a Peacock! Probably because I loathe the fact that for every Delhite every south Indian is termed as a Madrasan!

I had my first interaction with Delhi early last year. Thanks to my ex company..My 1st visit to Delhi, I anxiously wanted to explore the city, find out how people are, are they really Snobbish & arrogant? Thousand questions when you are travelling alone for the 1st time. I was excited, nervous and looking forward.

Unfortunately my 1st visit dint allow me to even have a glimpse of Delhi and was spent in the boardroom..But made the visit memorable! I did make a fool of myself when I cried among the men as I was clueless about the happenings..Most embarrassing moment..

That short stay at Delhi, I was still trying to figure out what exactly people mean when they praise or abuse someone at the back. Just left confused.

My recent few visits to Delhi ensured I fell in love with the city & its people. Met people from Virtual world & they appeared to be great hosts, ensured I was comfortable & never called me Madrasan. Meeting random people from different paths of life gives a better picture of the culture of the city than company perspective.

I laughed, shared secrets, bitched about others but had a great time. Down the lane when I look back, I am sure I will cherish the memories Delhi has provided me. Yes there are times when I could still find streaks of mystery in few people I encountered in Delhi, they still remain Mystery, but I assume its an exception. As they say, carry the positivity, negativity is everywhere and it doesn't need to be carried around with memories.

I was surprised I could share the deepest secrets with the strangers whom I hardly know, but realized the Delhites are blessed with a talent of taking over the conversation and make anyone comfortable to converse with.. The unsaid & rumored illusions about safety in the city took a back seat & I thoroughly enjoyed every moment spent. I just went ahead with instincts and with the flow of the moment.

There are differences, being a South Indian - every person encountered during life is a part of your life, your relationship, and gradually you assume that you know them. But Delhi made me realize, you meet, you greet, you talk, you move on. Relationships with the person you encountered are not mandatory, the encounter & the actions evolved out of it was just a spur of the moment. No Strings Attached.

Better late than ever, move on with the memory to cherish & never regret things which made you smile once. Enjoy the life when it provides you with opportunities to live for!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Women & their Sex Interpretation!

Back to blogging after a long time..And I am not here to write on sexuality for sure!

For the past few days, I have been interacting with women across the Globe..thanks to the groups and social Media you do not get judged among the like minded people.

A midst the discussion of Sex & Men, there are times when women confess about the Sexual encounters which they go through. Amongst all the experiences, there is always a biased opinion that women always have emotions on priority while they choose to sleep with someone & Men just satisfy their ego. Not necessarily true, but yes as they say "Sex is more physical for Men and More Emotional for women. Just knowing that man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need". I am sure many will revolt against this, but majority will agree. It definitely doesn't mean women cheat on the basis of emotional needs. There is always lust which triggers and then justified by emotions. Women!

But just makes me wonder if Sex has to be mistaken for Love or emotions or is it just the need of the Hour to satisfy oneself physically or mentally, sometimes the act itself is termed as the act of igniting Ego/Pride. Couple of year back I believed it to be a form of love or probably wanted to believe in it forever. Currently its just a part of life, you consume it the way you consume water regularly out of thirst and availability of water.

I am definitely no Sex Expert or Relationship expert, but the changes in my own thought influenced by people around just made me trigger this topic. Forget about Heterosexuality, even the attraction towards the same sex is openly expressed and accepted, for all you know the person might be Straight, the attraction exists. I had even read a bio of a person on twitter which said "For every straight girl there is always a lesbian who wants to do her"

Irrespective of the enormous changes in the meaning, there is always a confusion on what each of us expect out of our actions, be it flirting, fling, love or friendship. They always say you tend to ignore the clues to read between the lines while conversing just because you fear to know which you are not ready to accept.

Being Human is to Err...So we continue with our mistakes, learning and still get up with a new Hope & Plan for a better relationship in life..