Sunday, August 3, 2014

Do you pray?

The thought of writing occurrs at weirdest places you can imagine. Today it occurred to me while I was in a flight heading to Bangalore

I had quite an experience to visit the Golden temple at amristsar (U can just take the scene from jab we met of missing train, chasing it with a cab and minus the joy of reaching the destination) anyways, talking about the urge to visit a temple has always been high in my life. 

Reading Eat Pray Love, thorough out my journey I realized how I reach out to god! For the past 2 weeks it has been quite a few good ones. Praying hasn't been difficult for me, it's imbibed into me as a kid(All thanks to the Brahmin family which I was born in, where day begins with mantra and jap) I am a god loving person, nevertheless a god fearing one too 

I once as a kid asked my grandma (I was 6-8yrs old) why people break coconut outside temple and never pick them up! She said it's an offering when God delivers what you asked for & Voila! I had a way to bribe god. 

I started testing the method with every thing I wanted to ask god, from finding my pencil box, school holiday, good marks, 1st rank, name it and I offered the god a coconut. Oh I worked on signs too.. Visit temple, ask God If I am doing right in terms of my decisions, would demand that the flowers falls off yeh shoulder of the idol and yes I wanted it from the right side shoulder of the Idol. 

People may find it absurd but I still follow it. The entire trip to Amritsar, where I kept ensuring myself that I need to visit the temple come what May failed. The train delay, missing the train, the cab guy who drove the car at 30kms on a highway all were the signs that I should give up, I dint! I wanted to fight the destiny.. It turned into a battle I wouldn't want to lose. But then who wins against destiny? I could never visit the temple.. 12000 kms of travel in a day and all I did was savoured the food served in shatabdi!

Talk to a Brahmin lady(Read the ones who are born in 60s and 70s) they have an explanation for every action on course of life.. Yes including why human have sex! Talking about visiting temples, my grandma always informed us that it's the Divine power or the Superior who decides to call you to see him.. U can never plan a pilgrimage, u get a call to visit! Simple translation: Bulava aaya hai! 

As a kid I feared god, I went through phases where I did not have answers to the questions of my own, I ran to temple! Cry, shout, question god and at last ask for signs. The struggle of mind and heart never ends.. Not sure what meditations is all about but one day dad turned and said Meditate! Pray to Rahu! And yes I feared I started with the jap of 108times chanting Rahu. The day I meditate I tackle life with confidence. 

Different people have different way of taking life as it comes, I do with the help of my own ways of God's presence. As a kid (8yrs) I only prayed for him to stay with me! I actually repeated over and over again: Stay with me 

Grew up, and I realized he can't stay with me all the time and my prayer changed to , Hold me while I cross the phase of life, when I am making a decision then let go of my hand to walk on my own. 

Now, I only pray to let him give me Peace. Peace of mind is all I want. Realized troubles are the consequences of my decision, it's the peace I need after I make decisions. 

Amritsar taught me how HIS decision works. I am educated that doesn't mean I don't believe in the superior power. This trip just enlightened my belief of destiny. The inner battle I fought over these 28years of life took a makeover, fresh appearances of the past only to make me realize that you need to be grateful for the present. 

So how do you pray?  

Monday, July 7, 2014

Mumbai...The city I fell in love with!

Mumbai...Amchi Mumbai

The name is enough to make my day. It had always been my dream to visit this city one day and I got this opportunity only in 2013. A year back I landed in Mumbai and instantly I fell in love with the city. (P.S It felt that way at the airport and I was yet to step out to the city)

Few places emit this warmth when you land. (Unlike the warmth in Kolkata which is contributed by the temperature), Mumbai was one such place.

I couldn’t wait to explore the city and signed up for Mumbai Darshan the next day. The hustle bustle around you 
captivates you. I love the place when its buzzing with energy, and Mumbai tops the list. The icing on the cake was of course Salman’s residence but the cherry on top was the juhu beach.(Apart from the filth Vs cleanliness which Sea facing people argue, water makes me attain my inner peace).

The beach lets you be the kid again, while you run behind the golas/chuskas which are yumm flavored with Milkmaid. The hot vada pavs, and the buttery pav bhajis, the corn roasted on the charcoal or be the famous Mumbai kulfi wala with the tokri. You would go back to your childhood days of those local melas and the colorful things you get to shop around.

Of course I took the local train to live those #LocalTrainTales and see if women actually go through those entire epicness of conversation which they tweet about. Trust me you wouldnt be disappointed and would conclude that Marathi is well used when you are abusing someone.

Late night was meant to try the Necklace road and zip through those roads taking in everything the city has to offer. The pavement is free to sit down and watch the waves hit the shore and elude you to escape from the realities of life. 
Accompanying you always is the garam garam Channa, roasted peanuts or the tangy mangoes.

You never need a company to enjoy Mumbai, you can run through the flashback and fast forward of phases of life while you sit and watch people on the necklace road.

People of Mumbai never disappoint you. You can always find them full of life and thank your stars for their company (No I am not exaggerating; You have to experience to believe it). They do live their life to the fullest and are always welcoming.

I dont think any other place in the world can give me high the way Mumbai does. I have visited it only twice and the only city which made me give a thought of relocation.

So people who wants to feel the energy, warmth and affectionate in the air, need to visit Mumbai!

This post was actully written as an entry for a Contest happening at  This made me write about Mumbai. I dont think there is any other city which I dream about over and over again.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Social Media for Social acceptance or Otherwise?

The perspective of being active on Social media is different for each of us, for few it gets their Bread and Butter.

I recently took 8days break from the so called Social Media which includes facebook, whatsapp, twitter and so! And Voila! I loved every bit  of it. Doesnt mean I stopped socializing, I did but not virtually.

I went around with Friends for drinks, had a gala time with colleauges, loved the time spent with Family. I did that before too, but this time I dint have to reply to a tweet before clapping when my daughter danced, or send a heart emoticon for a pic at whatsapp while noticing how my husband needed my approval after he dressed up for a date!

Apart from the real life moments, the social media had taken over my so called Small Joys of life, which included smiling at random kids on road, buying roses for a little girl who pleaded you with a withered rose for 10 bucks or be the interesting conversation with the auto wallah on how stupid everyone on roads are except him. Because during these moments I worried more of people cribbing on twitter, or the silly fwds and quiz on whatsapp.

I am not saying we should let go of every Social Media to enjoy this, but we need to give these so called Social Media app a break to actually socialize. I never thought I would be advising as I couldnt breathe without whatsapp even for a second, if nothing I would browse through whatsaspp status.

I had my own issues to deal of staying away, people assumed they knew my life by reading my updates. The gossip mill and character assassination is common. In the struggle to shut myself out I realized I cherish the life I live whether it goes on social media or not, life is still normal.

I am hooked to Virtual friends however a break from even them is a welcoming change. Miss them? Call them! People love when you call them instead of whatsapping them, you know them better through voice rather than emoticons.

So I am game for it. Probably alternate weeks disconnect with Virtual world, make few calls and actually hear people out rather letting so called Social Media letting you socialize!

Would you try it too?

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Siblings Love...Words just cannot express

I have written my floating thoughts on men in my Life..However this post is specially dedicated to the pillar of my life..My little brother who is no more the one I envy being loved more by others.

A vague memory of him is what I have when he was a year old and I was 3. 2yrs difference and I couldnt hate him more for stealing the limelight. I was possessive of everyone around him, but he being the cutest with his curly hair, chubby cheeks and those all time drunk eyes.. Anyone could fall in love with him.

As a we grew, I knew he was more protective about me than my father. He couldnt tolerate boys looking at me in the park, forget talking to me. he would always hang out with me and my friends, his curiosity, his eagerness on whom I choose for company amused me. My 1st love letter was handed to him by a boy when he was in 5th std..The letter in blood, written in hindi his eyes only had 1 question when he handed it over to me, who is he?? Do u like him?

Never realized how I became the dependent on him. I was studious, he was smarter, I was emotional, he was practical, I was matured, he was impulsive. My never ending tears always found his arms, My over the top dramas of suicide always saved my his acts. 1 incident was when I gave up on life while I was 11yrs old and started banging head to the pillars of the stairs (Too much influenced by movies), he cooly arranged a note book for each of the pillars and watched while I got frustrated. I gave up after taking out his 11 books around the stairs.

We have our weirdest stories in lots to quote like above, my favorite being the one I mentioned. He moving to hostel was nothing less dramatic, what changed the equation was when he was back and he realized someone else had taken  his duty of protecting me.

Through our walk at wee hours and his KBC kind of questions on the Man in my life. I found that funny, he was 16years old!!! Time flew, I decided to marry, I received his 1st drunk call having my fiance on the other line! He only said "She chose u, ensure she doesnt cry anymore. I will get to you for every tear she sheds". We had our hearty laugh after he disconnected, but never knew he meant every word of it.

In no time, my little brother who couldnt recollect the name Pav Bhaji, instead preferred them calling Bun with Masala and onion grew to an extent of Being the Man incharge (P.S He still cant say pav bhaji)

Life doesnt give you a card notifying those precious moments, you just live them. Everyone one of us have a weird relationship with our sibling which we treasure and we have no means of expressing how much we love them. These emotions erupts out of the blue when you realize that life will not give you any more chances to express your love. Say it today, right now and be thankful for everything you had.

I know he will always be there, when I need him, when I dont need him, but the physical distance will always bother me. Being away from him for miles will make me miss him more.

He will always be the special Man in my life, he cant be replaced. Today after 15yrs he only called to confirm if I had actually turned blind for those few hours when he had hit my eyes! We will have many situations to clarify through out.. Except those where we had to question our love for each other.

The only reason why I would wish a younger brother for my daughter is him, its special. No cousin, friend, relative can give it to her.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Change...A necessary Evil

Too many things that currently occupy my mind. I would still regard them as pleasant, I am the one who believes everything happens for a reason and the reason is always good!

Being married at 23 (22 in my Husband's case), A mother at 26, I dont think I have dreaded the Major changes of life. I infact embrace them with love and affection and cherish every small thing thrown at me.

Boredom is a part and parcel of every life, no matter what you do how you do, you cannot escape it. That is when you start craving for the adventure, its like that Bunty Babli film climax, you cannot be happy when everything is perfect and in its place, you need Chaos, need the uncertainties and the surprises life throws at you. When you have the typical routine life and you can have a day with closed eyes with no changes in the events, you would jump at a given opportunity. The thrill of living life on a edge has its own charms.

The Major 30 syndrome hasn't hit me yet (I am hoping it doesn't ;) ), nevertheless I am actually gearing up for the opportunity to knock for a major change. The joy of 360 degree change in life in terms of career, personal life or change of city also gives you a new perspective of life to look forward for.

I wonder when people answer my question of "Hows life?" with "Oh its the regular routine, nothing new!" That is something I fear. The routine, the comfort level which you wouldn't want to let go off. The day I feel I am way too comfortable to adopt a change is the day I would need to retire. The best and the worst of life happens when you are young, the rest can wait when you need the stick to walk around.

The anticipation of a dramatic change gives that adrenaline rush required to live!

Cheers to Life!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Why have Babies?

Life is so busy watching my daughter grow, never realized it almost an year !

As you are about to hit 30 in couple of years, your discussion with friends over drinks is always around Marriages, Spouse and Kids. I am no different, just that I am the only one among the closely knit friends group to have a baby early in life (Early definition is before 30 according to them)

I just wait for people to ask me, why have a Baby before 30? I am always ready with a whole explanation! Before you guys assume I am promoting having kids before 30, hold your thoughts!! I am only penning my version of how having a baby changes a couple's life.

Marrying early has its disadvantages, as a couple you still discovering each other, Actions are quicker than thinking. Young, energetic, fun and yes of course the crazy love in the air syndrome. However, having a baby ensures you see the other side of life! You step into your parents'shoes and start understanding them better.

As the angel entered our life from day 1, she did become the apple of our eye. Every thought, decision, discussion was about her. Grocery shopping: which cerelac to order, Mall visits: Where should we shop for her clothes, Movies: Will she be able to sit for 3 hrs? There was hardly any statement made in a day which dint involve her.

The petty fights over cooking, coming home late or not calling often was replaced by being considerate to each other while one looked after the baby. It was more of  "Are you tired? I will look after her, why don't you get some rest? " "Hectic day at work, why not order food, you rest I will place the order" "You look tired, sleep early I will babysit her". The nature of knowing each other better without being vocal about it is what I love of being a parent.

The focus and importance on the baby is overpowering, the petty differences as a couple just vanishes. Any fight irrespective of the issue is resolved with just a Sorry because something more important is awaiting us.Its just not the baby which grows with time, the couple starts growing up too.

Over the year, not even once did I regret having our daughter. Instead there is always a smile by default on my face with her mention. Couldn't have asked for more to make my life complete.