Tuesday, November 24, 2015

NRI..The Non-Repairable Indians

Hello there! Its about to be an year I moved to Dublin and fall into the category of so called NRI.

The other day someone asked me how can I be an NRI if its just been a year, they had assumed that an NRI would be someone who has gained the citizenship of other country! Thank god its not right and I still have a long way to go for it.

Let me tell you that as a kid I though the best part of NRI would be the access to different chocolates you would have. The moment I hit puberty, the bubble burst and I wished to never leave my country. It was time when girls were getting married and I was being nudged to find a suitor who qualifies as Software Engineer (The trend then). People were excited when cousins and distant relatives found suitors who were software engineers because they were prospective NRI relatives in the making.

Fortunately I did get married to a software engineer who has no ideas in pipeline to be an NRI! I was more than happy. A tad bit irritated every time someone asked if we are pursuing the companies which would give us the opportunity. We often discussed why all the fuss?

However as the world conspires into something you are not yet ready, we had to move to Dublin. The number of congratulations couldn't compete with the advises that followed. However everyone presented a rosy picture of moving abroad. The quality of life, quality of food and the impact on one's kids' upbringing!

I was more nervous than ever, other than giving up a career there were many things I wasn't prepared for. As feared I did not enjoy moving! Everything had to be learnt, many things had to be let go.

What irks me is a forward which went around, on how much you are being paid for each profession
in other countries compared to India. What they forgot is, I would pay 200 times the price for few stuff like coriander, I would end up paying 2000Rs for a one way cab ride to work, I pay Starbucks coffee rate at a coffee machine at work. I would pay my Indian annual salary for a month's rent to stay in 2 bedroom house. Or every doctor visit I would be paying 3000Rs for consultation

Few examples for those who assumed being paid in Dollars or Euros is a cake walk for leading a comfortable life or going on exotic family vacations or parents assuming the kids earns in foriegn currency so they can never have any concern on spending few lakhs every visit.

However there are few things you appreciate in moving away from India. The appreciation for small things in life, thankful for all those friends who did hang out with you every week back in India, the time you get to spend with your family without worrying about the traffic. (P.S applicable to the place I live), the nature which always surpises you with its beauty with every changing season.

The ultimate goal has to be making the best of what you have and where you live. Appreciate what the country has to offer in terms of living, because few countries might even restrict you on living at your terms.



Saturday, July 18, 2015

Mannat.. Belief.. Gratitude .. Bajrangi Bhaijaan inspired!

I have been a typical Salman Khan fan. I can watch and vouch for all the nonsense movies he comes up with. 

Today it wasn't different when I stepped out with my 2.5yr old daughter to watch Bajrangi Bhaijaan. Both of us are on paracetamol for 3days now and running with 102 degrees fever, guess the Fan Thing started with me ecstatic every time I saw Salman on screen and now Sia can't hold back her excitement of watching him on screen. 

Past few weeks/months I am still trying to cope with changes in life, I draw support from family and friends whom I left behind 1000s of miles behind. These days I break down at a drop of a pin, I can't stop complaining about every small issue which also includes the unpredictable rain of Dublin! 

Bajrangi Bhaijaan just got me nostalgic of what mattered the most for me couple of years back. I could trade my whole happiness for the experience of motherhood. 

Married at 23, I wanted nothing but being a mother at 24. I have no subtle way to put across how torturous my obsession had been on my family and friends. My health refused to give up to my wish while I battled the agony of even spotting childrena' clothing line in a shopping mall. I could sob for hours at the mall, break down every time I saw a woman begging while she tied a baby to her waist. I only had 1 question, why not me??

I wouldn't call myself religious, I still quote the reason of psychological than religion when people ask why I don't try meat. I don't preach religion, nor do I judgle people on caste. 

This has been my opinion since childhood, hence the belief of Mannat applied to every shrine across, from Tirupathi, Mantralaya, kukke, Ajmer Dargah, Haji Ali or St Philomenas church. I did not miss even one asking for my wish to be granted. 

I am educated, I believe in science. I believe in scientific reason justifying the religious practices, however a belief which keeps you going, which lets you live with hope can't be harmful. 

My Mannat across all the above shrines was the belief/faith in a magical wand that would go round and make my wish come true kind. 

There was no other joy I wanted. Most of them felt pity, while few suggested adoption. It's not just the kid in my life that mattered, I wanted to experience the precious 9 months of creating a human inside my womb. I did not give up. My family, my husband, my in laws watched me go crazy at times when I broke down and yet supported me to stay strong.. My inability made me more guilty of the void in my life. 

It all seems a distant past now when I see Sia sitting next to me and shouts 'mamma Salman Khan'. I suddenly realised how did I stop living the joy I wished for constantly across all this shrines. How did the biggest joy of my life took a backseat while I started cribbing on mere issues of life. 

Guess it's time to be grateful, for the n number mannats which fortunately co incided with my health to make my wish come true, thankful to all those who stood by me during my worst and continue to wish for my best. 

Small joys are meant to be cherished while being grateful to the joy which was unexpectedly thrown at you. 

A revelation indeed! 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

#52WOG ~ Gratitude to 3 people

This week it's about showing gratitude to 3 people. So let's begin the list: 

1. Maternal Grandpa: I have been seeing him in dreams for days now. The picture of him lying on bed with holes across his body to keep his cancer driven brains working over shadowed with the images of the Strict grandpa who drived me crazy. I can't thank him enough for being the person I was most cared of, or the person I loved the most! He brought me up with the most traditional values of love, relations and believing in fairy tales for life. He is the one who let me believe to be swept off my feet by a prince riding a horse & I was but in a black hero puch. He woke me at 6am sharp, water 10000 plant pots, boil the water for bathing with the fire logs and yet pray to God for being given things to live. I am just thankful to him for me the person I am, for I still believe in Happy Endings and there is more to life than just cribbing. 

2. BFF ~ Ashi! She doesn't read my blogs, but I am grateful for her existence in my life. 25yrs and still counting, takes all my rants, listens to every stupid deed of my life and yet makes me feel special and always ends the conversation with 'I am proud of you'. (P.S that leaves me content and smiling). We are definitely not the ones who talk everyday, but when we do talk we know the person's state with just the way they greet. The emotions we share are expressed in the words we choose to type in whatsapp rather than the emojis. That's how well we know each other. I am blessed to have you Ashima & yes I am proud of you more than you are of me.

3. Bee!!!! The universally known bee. We met through twitter and have long forgotten the conventional ways of meeting friends for life. I am not complaining, I crib to her everyday, I fight with her every week and yet we make up with just a liner. She is my walking talking black book.. My secrets, my dreams, my fears are etched in her ears because that's how much I chatter when I get the chance. 1000miles apart I can still drop everything in hand when I know she needs me and I am sure she will too. Thanks for being there through thicks thins and even those void moments. I love you and yes I love you more than you love me. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

#52WOG ~ A Friend 1

This week it's about being grateful to that 1 friend. I would thank my 3am friend Gaurav.. Alias @pal36. 

It's weird how we met over a couple of drinks and hit it off instantly. They say a good friend will not just share his/her life but has to listen to what you say/feel/do. Well in that case GJ takes the cake with icing! I can't think of anyone else who listens to me as much as he does, I whine, I cry, I laugh.. I even discuss weirdest dreams and career goals with me.. He always has a standard report before giving me d piece of life which goes 'Koyi na, talent hai tujhme' 

I am yet to figure out that talent he keeps praising me about, d confidence he keeps instilling that I deserve something better everytime something goes wrong. 

It's been 3yrs of him tolerating my every dreading calls, talks, and complaints..  I fall short of description on how I define this friendship with him.. But I know he will always be there! The best part about him, I have ever ever heard him bitch of complaint oanout anything or anyone for through out 3yrs..OMG! See that's how he is and I love him for that. 

Thank u GJ for being U and here is to the N Number of years we have together in the so called life! 



Tuesday, February 17, 2015

#52WOG ~ The City I live In

I couldn't have got this post with a better timing. It's been not even 3 months since I moved to this city which I have started to fall in love with. 

I did hate every minute when I stepped into Dublin. I am a people person, I actually have panic attacks when I don't get to see people around for a long time. However Dublin had exactly the same to offer to me. 

Even your own body needs 2weeks to show results of your diet/exercise change, this was the life I was beginning and was expecting familiarity within minutes. Fortunately after the most difficult 75 days of Dublin life I feel positive about the city. The moment you step in, U start noticing people being obsessed with Thank you and I am sorry. It's like they say those words absent mindedly.. Every 2mins by default. 

I do think it's pretentious when you don't mean them, but hey we Indians master at that art. Nevertheless the native people are really warm, U can never miss their comforting smiles when you look all confused smiling, they don't mock, instead I encountered 2 elderly women who infact asked me if I knew where I am going as I was hooked to the google maps in the bus. 

Every civilian here wants you to feel welcoming. They do not fight for those every single penny or so called cents here (With reference to the taxi drivers who let go of the change, or take the minimum amount only Becoz they took the longer route ). Everything is new and different from the stereotyped life back in India and hence they say a beginning of new life. 

I might miss those 1000things I had back in India, but Dublin is definitely giving me a reason a day to love the city. I definitely am thankful for the city to give me a new life and definitely and opportunity to be the better person. 


Sunday, February 1, 2015

#52WOG ~ A Family Member

Well this week is al about showing gratitude to a family member, I chose my daughter. 

When you have a kid, every relation in life is defined and addressed through their eyes. It's no more Mom, Dad, bro or my husband, it's more Ajji Dadi, Thatha, Maama, pappa. I don't remember when I addressed my dad as dad in front of her because for her it's her Thatha, grandpa not papa. All of a sudden the relation you shared is evolved into the next generation  relations. 

As a new parent I have evolved more in these 2months compared to the 28yrs I spent as an individual, the beautiful existence of life was driven and tested to its limits with Sia around. She insisted, persuaded, loved me thoroughly. If not for her I would have just been another spoilt and pampered wife. Thanks to her I am more patient with every course of action she throws at me, I am patient in showing her how beautiful the life is while I hold her hand and give my best to let her experience every thing the world has to offer.
She is my reflection is what people say, but I would rather be her shadow to follow her while she loves her dreams.. Be whatever it is, wherever it is, I would stand back and feel proud of what she chooses to become rather than being asked to. 

I am thankful to the very fact that universe conspired her to be my daughter, every struggle, every near to death experience through out my pregnancy was worth it!! 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

#52WOG ~ #Family

This week it's about the gratitude for family! Given this topic a couple of months back, I would have been pretty casual about it. 

Thousand miles away from home, family is all you miss! The word Family for me forms the entire list of blood relatives I actually grew up with. It happens when you were brought up by grandparents, or say grandpa who believed in Family that eats together stays together. I wouldn't be fair if I don't thank them. 

1. Grandpa and grandma for being there through out my childhood, nurturing my values of life and laying the foundation of thoughts for who I am today. 
2. Mamas/uncles who dearly treated me as a kid sister and bullied and loved to me the core. I wouldn't have been the same if not for you guys. 
3. Aunts who gave me those typical Rajshri kind of relations to cherish and all the love they showered as new brides and forward
4. Cousins who instilled the motherly instincts which I proudly carry forward while bringing up my daughter 
5. My younger brother who just refused to grow up even after being a dad and knows my mind and hurt with just a hug 
6. Sister in law and nephew who taught what an extended family means with all the love and togetherness 
7. Husband who continues to play multi roles of friend lover listener and more. The one who was confident and loved me enough to start our New family together. 
8. In laws who wanted a daughter and loved me and welcomed me into their family. They always ensured I was given the love of daughter and were treated as one in every aspect 
9. Daughter for whom I prayed day and night. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 

I couldn't include parents in the list as I wouldn't be able to express in pointers how much I am thankful for them! I could go on and on about you guys but it's better felt than said. You mean the world to me, the relationship we share might not be a conventionally one, but hey, none of us believe to be the normal ever. Cheers to this life and thankful to each of you for being just you and grateful to everyone who have contributed to who I am today. It wouldn't be life without you guys! 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

#52WOG ~ Spouse

It all began the day I said I love you! Very rarely do I get a chance to express my gratitude towards u, I won't let this go. 

We might have been the oddest couple, expecting exactly the opposite in life and yet we have come a long way. 

Through my worst times I have always found you beside me telling me I want to work this out, Everytime I stormed out you did come to me and tell me how much I loved you even though I would be shouting on top of my voice that I hate you, it would leave me devastated to still get your assurance on the relationship after a crisis, but at the same time thankful that you were holding onto it, our relation, our promises. 

I have said this before and I say this again.. There cannot be any other person on this earth who could have been The Man of my life. (P.S I always felt you could have done better, but now it's too late ;) )

All these thoughts rested in my mind but was confirmed the day you held Sia in your arms and took care of her through out. 

Thank you for being you and yes we still have millions of fights to be fought nevertheless to hug each other and let us know this togetherness is forever. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Let's show some Gratitude

A new year a new Me and all that jazz begins with a promise to get wiser. For me it has to be more reading and writing this year. 

I promise to read every days even if it's just a page or two of any book/novel/magazine! Anything that I can lay my hands on. 

I have all the new purpose to keep up the promise after moving to new Country. So here is what I have picked up from my friends Samarpita and Bhargavi who are co authoring a Blog to be grateful every week. There are many things to be grateful for in my life over all these years and this challenge compels to express them. 

I am sure it would be worth the effort and will be fun every week as it also benefits me to keep my blog active. 

Cheers to the new beginning!