Thursday, August 22, 2013

Just the few hrs before motherhood..

Its been ages I sat down to write for the blog. Nevertheless its always better to be late than never.

The past 6 months has been crazy. A full time Mom to a full fledged Marketing person for a liquor brand just happened in a wink of an eye. No woman will ever say giving birth to be an easy job, I wouldn't either. I always thought I should just pen down those dreadful time when I was at the door where my life was about to collapse, I never knew that the other end a door opened for a Life of happiness and laughter.

February 1st, where I finally decided to let go of the cozy nest which I shared with my husband and instead get into the warm hug of my mother at her place. The idea was just to be on bed rest while I still had a month to relax before I took up the responsibility of being a Mother. God had different plans when I entered the scanning room and baby made me realize she is in a hurry to enter this world! It was time I pushed the panic button, called every known doctor to ask if it was fine to get under the knife 30 days prior to the due date. 10 people 100 opinions were thrown at me...I only wanted a healthy kid! Nothing else

Finally decided to leave it to time under the 24hrs supervision of the Doctors who knows the best. Lying along with couple more women, while they had babies as they walked (Yes, a woman delivered as she walked to the bed!!) I only heard the heartbeats through the instrument plugged into my stomach. And on 3rd 6pm I realized the kid is hardly in the mood to respond to the Mc D burger which I was hogging, definitely not the regular case esp when the kid responded the max for Mc D mayo! It was time I screamed..Doc said I am having contractions and I actually dropped my jaw as I dint realize it until she brought it to my notice.

Having a weeping Mom beside you and with the Doctors on call at 11pm talking about 'How to convey the news' was scary enough to see my life end. The kid's heartbeat not being echoed from the instrument I just wanted to jump and bring it to life!! Yes, prayed every God, recited all the mantras Grandma had ever taught me over the 27years. I just had a question to self..Can I fail now? I am almost there..Nothing wrong can happen now and yet again to prove me wrong, the woman next to me just lost a kid among the twins inside her, the other kid stayed inside her while its sibling had its last breath. It left me numb! Nature doesnt count how long you have walked in its path..if its the end..You accept it.

The to and fro call to the head of the hospital, the constant reminders of how low the heartbeat is, the feeling of losing the connectivity with the life inside you, I just stayed blank. I wasn't prepared to feed on the do's and don'ts around me..They put me on drips and said lets wait and within 10 mins I got the first kick, I missed it for the last 4hours. I knew it was time, I just got another life when I felt that kick! As soon as I got the heartbeat kicking in, again a 100 calls for do's and don'ts and finally they said 'Lets get your baby out tom morning at 8' Countdown began, the rest of 9hrs is where I had the endless talk with the kid, only request to it was to make it to this beautiful world with a promise of undying love to it.

As the sun shines, I saw everyone rushing around me, preparing me and there was my Mom who hadn't slept a second, had every god in her prayers, a promise to visit each of them once I have the baby, her red eyes were more hurtful than the pain I went through. 8.30am I got up to get injected to the backbone, lied on the bed, insisted the mind to be blank, watched them cut me through, 9:08 am I heard a baby cry. Was it my baby was the 1st question/thought appeared, Of course I was the only one with a baby in tummy at the operation theater. As they get a baby drenched in blood and doc says 'Here is your baby', I just nod..I wanted to hear more and they said 'Congrats, its a girl' and I knew she was my daughter Sia...The one who brings joy and happiness!