Friday, February 10, 2012

I, Me, Myself!

Thsi Blog is dedicated to self and desreves one as the Quarter Century ends! Down with 1 Tequilla, 2 Shooters & a Breezer..It cant get more Honest!

There are times, when you randomly introspect, wonder whats wrong with self or right & the judgements of others that ponders you with questions. I am writing this blog to be read when I turn 50.

Movie like Ek Main aur Ekk tu inspired me to introspect. Its been 25 years, I always wondered is if I am among others, am I unique? Or is it that we all live with such illusions. I have always been selfish, wanted things and discarded people at my convenience. Late realization, but every action has a self justified reason.

People still accuse me of being impulsive, Jhalli, pagal, irresponsible and kiddish. I always reply by asking 'Isnt it worth it?' I live life by the moment. Right now, I am just planning my wishlist before 35. Cant think beyond that!

From my childhood I always made decisions which seemed perfect, never thought of consequences, go with the flow, never regret. 1 thing which I have never tolerated is ignorance, be it being a rank student in school, Cultural lead in college, Competitive in placements. Always grabbed attention & fueled the energy. Believed in yash Raj love stories, demanded perfect filmy love story & got it too.

After all this, I sit back and realise I am still right in living for the moment. Decisions which are impulsive are fun & never disappoint you. Demand of being married at 23 to a guy aged 22, both unsure of the career which just began, now still stand strong!

I have been surrounded by people who plan their day, their dreams, their job, their income & some sex life too :). It does disturb how unorganised I am, where I am not even sure I will return home without resigning from job. Today I need career in one field, tomorrow I need freedom. Inspite of this I have people in my life who understands me perfectly & ensures they do not rationalise my irrational behaviour.

It doesnt mean I have lived a perfect life, I too have unfulfilled wishes, few which may or may never come true, on which I shed tears day & night. Curse who do not appreciate what they have. But next day I move on. Thanks god for all the rest he has given.

If I had to rate myself, I would have been the most irresponsible person in any relationship, but as they say or I have heard, you need someone in life who is not You, so that they only Complete You! I found him! I still pity his decision, nevertheless thankful to the stars who played the trick.

Every person grows with a dream, Of all the things during my High School Days I wanted to be a House Wife, later turned into Air Hostess (Fly in the air), then Choreographer(Dance that runs in my veins) ended up  being a struggler in Marketing. Love Job, no regrets but can never be serious!

Dreams are meant to be acquired, conquered and chased. I still do that today, only problem is I dream everyday.

Interaction with different people from different paths of life made me realize each one of us have a hidden character, which emerges only when we want to but exists within.But why pretend? Why not be true to self? Society, ego, pride, status & fear!

I do respect people who have touched my life in any manner, and I do get possessive about their existence but also matured enough to realize when to give up on them

Not sure if I will remain the same after 30 crisis! But do enjoy life as it throws Surprises at you!!

                                       

2 comments:

  1. Your life, your choices, your decisions. Live it the way you want it. Agree with you here, why plan every details!!
    Love and Hugs!

    ReplyDelete