Friday, February 10, 2012

I, Me, Myself!

Thsi Blog is dedicated to self and desreves one as the Quarter Century ends! Down with 1 Tequilla, 2 Shooters & a Breezer..It cant get more Honest!

There are times, when you randomly introspect, wonder whats wrong with self or right & the judgements of others that ponders you with questions. I am writing this blog to be read when I turn 50.

Movie like Ek Main aur Ekk tu inspired me to introspect. Its been 25 years, I always wondered is if I am among others, am I unique? Or is it that we all live with such illusions. I have always been selfish, wanted things and discarded people at my convenience. Late realization, but every action has a self justified reason.

People still accuse me of being impulsive, Jhalli, pagal, irresponsible and kiddish. I always reply by asking 'Isnt it worth it?' I live life by the moment. Right now, I am just planning my wishlist before 35. Cant think beyond that!

From my childhood I always made decisions which seemed perfect, never thought of consequences, go with the flow, never regret. 1 thing which I have never tolerated is ignorance, be it being a rank student in school, Cultural lead in college, Competitive in placements. Always grabbed attention & fueled the energy. Believed in yash Raj love stories, demanded perfect filmy love story & got it too.

After all this, I sit back and realise I am still right in living for the moment. Decisions which are impulsive are fun & never disappoint you. Demand of being married at 23 to a guy aged 22, both unsure of the career which just began, now still stand strong!

I have been surrounded by people who plan their day, their dreams, their job, their income & some sex life too :). It does disturb how unorganised I am, where I am not even sure I will return home without resigning from job. Today I need career in one field, tomorrow I need freedom. Inspite of this I have people in my life who understands me perfectly & ensures they do not rationalise my irrational behaviour.

It doesnt mean I have lived a perfect life, I too have unfulfilled wishes, few which may or may never come true, on which I shed tears day & night. Curse who do not appreciate what they have. But next day I move on. Thanks god for all the rest he has given.

If I had to rate myself, I would have been the most irresponsible person in any relationship, but as they say or I have heard, you need someone in life who is not You, so that they only Complete You! I found him! I still pity his decision, nevertheless thankful to the stars who played the trick.

Every person grows with a dream, Of all the things during my High School Days I wanted to be a House Wife, later turned into Air Hostess (Fly in the air), then Choreographer(Dance that runs in my veins) ended up  being a struggler in Marketing. Love Job, no regrets but can never be serious!

Dreams are meant to be acquired, conquered and chased. I still do that today, only problem is I dream everyday.

Interaction with different people from different paths of life made me realize each one of us have a hidden character, which emerges only when we want to but exists within.But why pretend? Why not be true to self? Society, ego, pride, status & fear!

I do respect people who have touched my life in any manner, and I do get possessive about their existence but also matured enough to realize when to give up on them

Not sure if I will remain the same after 30 crisis! But do enjoy life as it throws Surprises at you!!



  1. Your life, your choices, your decisions. Live it the way you want it. Agree with you here, why plan every details!!
    Love and Hugs!